Can I Trust You With My Heart
by EJ Barrett
Summary: The daughter of one of Gibbs's old Marine buddies is kidnapped in Mexico and suffers from PTSD as she tries to solve the mystery of her father's death. Can the team help her solve two cases? Rated T for language and possibly violence in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**_AN: This is my very first fanfic, so I would appreciate any and all (constructive) reviews._  
**

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY RIGHTS TO THE TELEVISION SERIES NCIS OR ITS CHARACTERS. THEY BELONG TO DONALD BELLISARIO/BELISARIUS PRODUCTIONS AND CBS TELEVISION (ALTHOUGH LIKE MOST LADIES, I WOULDN'T MIND OWNING MICHAEL WEATHERLY...) NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED. I AM NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS STORY._**

**CHAPTER 1**

"Grab your gear!" Gibbs called out as he strode into the bullpen.

"Where we goin', boss?" senior field agent Tony DiNozzo asked.

"Alameda," Gibbs answered. "We're to give an NCIS agent who was captured and held hostage in Mexico while on an undercover assignment an escort to D.C."

The senior agent passed out file folders to his team members as they headed toward the elevator. "All the information is in there. Her name is Nicole Charles. Her father was a Marine First Lieutenant named Lawrence Charles. After he was discharged from the Corps, he went to work for a defense contractor called Lilley and Associates. They were working on a top-secret project for the Navy code-named Atlantis when he was killed in an explosion. I was on the team that investigated his death.

"Agent Charles was a junior at UC-San Diego when he died, majoring in psychology. After she got her master's degree, she spent a couple of years in private practice before joining NCIS in 2000."

Agent Tim McGee frowned as he looked through the file. "It says here that she put in for a transfer to headquarters on several occasions but was turned down each time."

"Yes. Apparently her boss in San Diego was convinced that the only reason for the requests was to reopen her father's case. I wouldn't be surprised. Agent Charles is like a dog with a bone when she gets something like this in her head."

"Sorta like you, boss?" DiNozzo asked with a grin. Gibbs shot him a look, and he shut up.

"If she disappeared in Mexico, how did she get to Alameda?" Agent Ziva David asked.

"Actually, she was found in San Francisco. She was kidnapped by a Mexican terrorist named Ricardo Aguilar, aka _El Lobo Negro_. By the time a team of NCIS and FBI agents working with the Mexican _federales_ raided Aguilar's compound last month, she'd been moved. One of Aguilar's bodyguards said that she was in San Francisco."

"So we're supposed to find her and bring her back for a debriefing?" McGee asked.

"She's in NCIS custody, but she's refusing to return to San Diego. It's our job to find out why."

"Is it not her decision whether or not to return?" Ziva wondered.

"It's not that simple, Ziva. She's an excellent agent who loves NCIS. Her boss, Agent Ron Tarkington, is convinced that something happened while she was in Mexico. When our people found her at a homeless shelter in San Francisco, she insisted to them that her name was Jamie Lawrence and that Nicole Charles was dead. Director Vance wants us to find out why."

By now the four agents had buckled themselves into seats on a jet. Tony raised his eyebrows as he took in the luxuriousness of it. "Where did this come from?"

"Courtesy of our friends at the Hoover Building. They want us to get to Alameda ASAP, so there's no time for a commercial flight."

Four hours later, they were circling an airfield just outside the city, and minutes later were on the ground. As they deplaned, a tall, handsome blond man stepped forward and held out his hand to Gibbs.

"Special Agent Gibbs? I'm Agent Todd Williams, NCIS Alameda. We have Agent Charles at our office."

Gibbs shook the young man's hand and introduced the rest of the team. "My senior field agent Tony DiNozzo and Agents Timothy McGee and Ziva David. Have you managed to get anything further out of Agent Charles?"

"No, sir. She still refuses to talk to us. Agent Tarkington and Director Vance are hoping you'll have better luck since you know her."

Forty minutes later, they drove through the gates of the Naval base and minutes later parked behind a four-story brick building. Williams led them through the rear entrance and into an elevator. As the lift rose, he said, "We found Agent Charles yesterday and put her up at a hotel, with one of our female agents in an adjoining room. This morning we brought her here and she's been here since."

Gibbs nodded. A minute later the group stood in an observation room, watching through the one-way window as an agent questioned Nicole. She stared into the mirrored surface of the window, refusing even to make eye contact with the other woman.

"Let me try," Gibbs said. Turning to Tony, he added, "You're with me."

They left the room and seconds later the other agents saw them enter the interrogation room. The agent interviewing Nicole glanced up, and Gibbs tilted his head, indicating that she should leave. As the door closed behind her, he studied the young woman he hadn't seen for more than ten years, although they had spoken on the phone often.

"Hello, Nikki," he said finally, and when she didn't respond, he added, "Excuse me... _Jamie_."

She smiled faintly as she turned to him. "Special Agent Gibbs."

He nodded to the dark-haired young man beside him. "This is Special Agent Tony DiNozzo."

The handsome agent stepped toward her with a bright smile and outstretched hand. "Agent Charles."

Nicole raised an eyebrow and shot Gibbs an amused look. "Your reputation precedes you, Agent DiNozzo."

He assumed a look of false innocence. "My reputation?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Never mind." She looked at Gibbs, and her smile faded. "Look, Gibbs, I've been telling these nice people here that I'm not going back to San Diego, and I mean it."

"That's fine, Nikki. We have no intention of making you go back." He handed her a folder from his briefcase. "In fact, these are your new orders."

She took it, but just held it, staring at him. "New orders?"

"Signed by Director Vance. You will be escorted to a secure location by my team and placed in protective custody. We're leaving now."

The three agents left the room as the door to Observation opened and McGee and Ziva stepped out. They walked toward the elevator and went downstairs and out to the car. An hour later they were on their way south.

"I thought we weren't going back to San Diego," Nicole said.

"We're not staying," Gibbs told her. "We're just stopping by your apartment so you can pack some things and then we'll be on our way."

His voice became formal. "Effective immediately, you are on leave for an indefinite period of time. As I told you back at the office, you are in protective custody. You will be taken to a safe house, where Agents DiNozzo and David will take turns guarding you."

She leaned forward, interrupting him. "Yes, Jethro, but while you're protecting me, who'll be protecting my team?"

"I don't understand."

She looked away. "He told me..." She hesitated.

"Aguilar?" Gibbs prodded quietly.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes. Aguilar. He told me that if I ever told anyone... _anyone_... what happened to me, my team would suffer the consequences."

Gibbs sat back in his seat. "Nikki, we can protect you. We can have FBI agents on your team members. I can also tell you that the only people who know where you're going are Agent Tarkington, Director Vance, and my team. You will be safe."

"Don't bet on it. I wouldn't be surprised if Aguilar knows right now that I've left the city."

"But does he know where you're headed?"

"Probably not, but that just gives him a reason to carry out his threat. He won't know what I'm telling or not telling you."

"True, but he may assume that he has you so frightened you won't say a word."

"He's not wrong."

Gibbs reached over and took her hand, giving it a quick, gentle squeeze. "You'll be fine, Nikki. I promise."

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

This time as they stepped off the plane, they were met by a silver-haired man who looked to be about Gibbs's age. As soon as he saw Nicole, he came forward with a broad smile.

"Nicole! It's good to see you." He shook her hand and gave her a quick hug.

Smiling she returned, "Good to see you too, Tark." She turned to her companions. "Tark, meet Special Agents Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Tim McGee, and Ziva David. Guys, this is my boss, Special Agent Ron Tarkington."

They shook hands, then Tark led them to a car. "Agent Gibbs, I just received a fax of the orders from Director Vance. While we'll miss having Nicole on our team for awhile, I agree that this is the best thing for her. If there is anything we can do to help you, please feel free to ask."

"You can be sure we will. Now, if you'll take us to Nikki's apartment?"

"Of course." Soon he pulled up in front of a neat building on a quiet, tree-lined street. "I'll wait for you here."

The five agents entered the building, and several tenants greeted Nicole, welcoming her home. She nodded, smiled, and made small talk, all the while making her way toward the elevators. She leaned against the back wall and sighed. Gibbs looked at her sympathetically.

"We'll be out of here soon, Nikki, and on our way to D.C."

"I'm not worried about that. I'll just miss everyone here, too." She grinned a bit sheepishly, and he chuckled.

She unlocked her door and stepped inside, flicking on the living room light. Heading back toward the bedroom, she pointed out various things about her home. The team noticed that it had a feminine feel to it, the walls and furnishings in shades of purple, obviously her favorite color.

"And my _sanctum sanctorum_," she said, throwing open the door of her room. It was dominated by a queen sized bed with a thick rose comforter and about a dozen small decorative pillows. There was also a big-screen plasma tv on one wall, and a roll-top desk against another. Tony noticed a rack of CDs above the desk and made a beeline for it.

"Lots of classic rock bands," he noted, studying row after row of Styx, Kansas, Rush, Bon Jovi, Guns 'n' Roses, and others.

"Yep, and some others. Country, big band, blues, jazz... I have eclectic taste when it comes to music." She moved to the walk-in closet and handed McGee a couple of suitcases sitting on the floor, then began pulling down clothes to take with her. Ziva went into the bathroom to begin collecting a few toiletries that she would need. As McGee and Gibbs began folding and packing, Nicole grabbed a duffel bag and began stuffing it with CDs and DVDs, plus her laptop. She took a quick look around as the work was finished, then nodded to Gibbs.

"Okay, let's get out of here."


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Reviews welcome.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS EXCEPT FOR NICOLE BELONG TO DONALD BELLISARIO/BELISARIUS PRODUCTIONS/CBS. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED, NOT GETTING PAID, YADDA-YADDA. ON TO THE STORY.**_

Chapter 2

"Ah, another patient," Ducky said the next morning, as Nicole and Gibbs entered autopsy. Nicole smiled as she followed the elderly Scot through the room. "Looks like there's someone ahead of me, Doc," she quipped, glancing at the body that ME's assistant Jimmy Palmer was prepping.

Ducky chuckled. "Not to worry, my dear – the lieutenant isn't going anywhere." He motioned for her to

sit on one of the tables. "Now, let's see how you are."

He picked up a chart, explaining, "I took the liberty of having a copy of your medical records faxed

from your doctor in San Diego, and also from the doctor at the shelter in San Francisco. I understand

you had the flu when you arrived? Also a dislocated shoulder?"

She nodded. "Yes, the shoulder was courtesy of Aguilar; the flu came from sleeping on the streets."

Gibbs's face tightened when he heard this. Nicole had told him briefly about the beatings she'd received

while a "guest" of _El Lobo Negro_, but hadn't gone into detail. It infuriated him to know that she'd been

mistreated.

Ducky busied himself taking the young woman's temperature, pulse, and blood pressure. "Oh, dear," he

said as he looked at the blank blood pressure monitor. "You have no blood pressure."

Nicole raised her eyebrows and looked at Gibbs. "Told you Nicole Charles was dead."

The physician smiled. "Let's see if we can revive her." He inflated the cuff again, and this time got a

reading of 138/92. "Do you have high blood pressure, Agent Charles?"

She shook her head. "It's usually pretty much a textbook reading. I've been under a bit of stress lately,

as you can imagine."

"Yes, I can imagine." He turned to Gibbs. "Aside from her blood pressure and residual pain from the

dislocated shoulder, she seems to be in good health."

"Thanks, Duck. Ready to go upstairs?" he asked Nicole. "Director Vance wants to meet with you."

"Let's go." She smiled at Ducky. "Thank you, Dr. Mallard."

"You're quite welcome, dear. And please call me Ducky."

"All right... Ducky. And I'm Nicole."

The two agents went upstairs to the director's office. Vance stood as they entered, holding out his hand

to Nicole. "How are you, Agent Charles."

"I'm as good as I can be, considering. Ducky just gave me a clean bill of health downstairs, and Gibbs

is about to take me to my new home for the forseeable future."

"DiNozzo, McGee, and Ziva have been setting up the surveillance system. Ziva will be spending the

nights in the house, DiNozzo will be patrolling the perimeter, and McGee will monitor things from

MTAC."

"Sounds good to me. Keep me informed."

After a few more pleasantries, Gibbs and Nicole went out to his car. "Got any instructions for me?" she

asked him.

"Just do what my people tell you as if Agent Tarkington or I were giving the orders. I'll be coming by to

see you once in a while, and you have my phone numbers."

"Fine." She was silent for a few minutes, and Gibbs looked at her. "Permission to speak freely?"

"You usually don't have a problem doing that."

"Look, Jethro, you know I'm not used to being babysat. I can understand why you and Director Vance

are concerned, but I highly doubt that Aguilar would come after me again."

"So do I, Nikki, but that's not why you're here."

"Something I should know?"

"Why did you ditch your team to meet with Aguilar alone?"

She stared ahead, lips pressed together. "They told you about that, huh?"

"Did you think they wouldn't? Of course, no one knew where you were, but it was pretty easy to figure out when word came that you'd been abducted by him."

She sighed. "One of his goons contacted me and said Aguilar had information about Atlantis. Aguilar wanted to meet with me and turn over the info – for a price. I agreed, we met at a prearranged place, I got a knock on the head, and found myself tied up in the basement of his house. Turns out that _he's_ the one who wanted information."

"Only you don't have any information."

"Nope. My father took 'need-to-know' extremely seriously. I've tried to get information about it several times over the years, but no one will tell me anything. Must be pretty damn important for it to be covered up for almost twenty years."

"So you're going to keep trying to find out about it?"

"Wouldn't you? I'm positive that my father didn't have to die. Is Atlantis really that important?"

Gibbs shrugged. "People have been murdered for a lot less, you know."

"Yeah. But I'm not gonna rest until I find out what the hell's going on. You knew my dad, Jethro. You know he was a wonderful man. It doesn't make any sense, the way he died; the reason for it. I want to know why."

"His bosses and coworkers at Lilley and Associates said it was a freak accident. An explosion. You don't believe that."

"Not when the SECNAV tells NCIS to back off, no."

Gibbs slammed on the brakes. "How did you know that?"

"I've got my sources, Jethro. Do you still keep in touch with Mike Franks?"

"Why?"

"He was the senior agent on the case. I want his file on it, if he has it. I've been denied access to the one in the archives. They claim it disappeared. There's not even a record of it."

"You know Franks retired in '96."

"I also know that he was suspicious of the run-around you guys were getting during the investigation. Maybe suspicious enough to have copied the file? Please, Jethro. This is very important to me."

Gibbs looked at the young woman seated beside him and nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks. Oh, is this it?" she asked, as they pulled up behind a small frame house.

"This is it. Your stuff is inside, and Ziva and Tony should be waiting for you."

"Okay. You headed back to the city now?"

"I am. Remember, you're to do everything Tony and Ziva tell you. I'll see you soon."

She got out of the car and waited until it disappeared down the road. Then she went into the house and greeted the two agents who were to guard her before glancing around.

"Nice," she commented. "Where's my room?"

"This way," Ziva said, leading her down a short hallway. Her bags were at the end of the bed, her laptop case on a small desk. Nicole nodded approval.

"Where are you and Tony going to sleep?"

"We do not sleep. We are here to guard you."

Nicole raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. "Good luck trying to do that for very long. The no-sleep thing, I mean."

"In Mossad, we often go days without sleeping."

"I'll take your word for it. I know little about the inner workings of Mossad, unfortunately."

"That is not surprising." Ziva gestured toward the front of the house. "Are you hungry? Tony and I fixed lunch."

Nicole's stomach rumbled, and she chuckled. "There's your answer. What are we having?"

"Are you accustomed to Jewish food?"

"One of my coworkers in San Diego is Jewish. I've eaten dinner with her and enjoyed it. Let's go!"

Soon the three were sitting down to a meal of what Ziva called _Holishkes Huluptzes, Lokshen kugel,_ Israeli salad and warm _Challah, _with _Kichel _for dessert. After eating, they did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, then sat down in the living room with mugs of coffee.

"So, tell us about yourself, Nicole," Tony invited. "We can call you Nicole, right?"

She burst into laughter. "I feel like I'm being interviewed for a job, or by my boyfriend's parents," she joked. She took a thoughtful sip, then said, "Well, my parents met when my dad was stationed at Quantico in '68. They were married in 1970, and I was born at Bethesda in '72. I have a sister who's two years younger than me, her name is Samantha, and she's a writer for the _Miami Herald_. We moved around when Sami and I were young, ending up at Camp Pendleton when I was a sophomore in high school. He was sent to Kuwait in late 1990, when I was in my first year of college at UCSD. He came home eight months later. He was discharged from the Marines in '92 and went to work for a defense contractor called Lilley and Associates, who were in the process of developing something called the Atlantis Project. He was killed in '93, and Gibbs was involved in the investigation."

"And you have no idea what this 'Atlantis Project' was?" Ziva asked quietly.

"None. I've spent almost twenty years trying to find out, but with no luck. That's part of the reason why I joined NCIS. I want to know the truth about what happened to my dad."

"If there's a way off finding out, Gibbs'll help you," Tony said confidently.

"I know. I've known him for a long time, and he never made me a promise he didn't keep, except the one about finding my dad's killer – and that wasn't even his fault. I learned years later that the SECNAV ordered NCIS to close the case. Why, I don't know."

"Gibbs'll find that out too. He's good at getting answers."

"Don't I know it!" Nicole smiled and glanced at her watch. Standing up, she said, "I'm going to unpack and then take a nap. Talk to you guys later." She disappeared down the hall to her room, Tony's eyes following her. When he turned back to his partner, he found her watching him with raised eyebrows and a smirk on her face.

"What? She's an attractive woman."

"Yes, she is. But we're here as her bodyguards, remember? Do not let Gibbs catch you flirting with her."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Flirting, I mean."

She gave him another sly smile, then walked outside.

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

"Everything quiet, McGee?" Gibbs asked, walking into MTAC later that evening.

"Nothing to report so far, boss. They just finished dinner and now it looks like Nicole's headed to bed. Tony's outside, Ziva's in the living room, and they'll call in if anything happens."

"I'm heading home myself. Talk to you tomorrow." The senior agent left the room and nearly ran into the director, who was just leaving his office.

"How's it going, Gibbs?" he asked.

"Agent Charles is in bed, and Tony and Ziva are on watch. All quiet," he replied.

"You on your way home?"

"Yes, it's been a long day. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Leon."


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Please R&R, thank you!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: *INSERT STANDARD DISCLAIMER HERE***_

**Chapter 3**

**"**Nicole?**"** When Ziva received no answer, she tried again. "Nicole?"

When another knock and verbal inquiry gained no response, she entered the room. Nicole was dressed in the purple flowered nightie that she'd favored wearing since she'd come to Washington. She was awake and sitting against the headboard of the bed.

A puzzled frown creased Ziva's features. "Nicole, why didn't you answer me when I knocked?"

Nicole's disturbing silence caused the younger woman to move closer. In the dim glow of the bedside lamp she could see that Nicole was sweating profusely. Her eyes were glazed and vacant, as if her mind was no longer present. Ziva mistakenly concluded she was in the throes of some sort of muted nightmare.

"Nicole? Wake up; it's Ziva. Nicole?"

She advanced on the catatonic agent. "Nicole?"

Whether it was the close proximity of her voice, or the hand she reached out and laid on Nicole's arm, Ziva never knew. What she did know was that the second her hand made contact with Nicole's clammy skin, the older woman propelled herself off the bed with the guttural snarl of a rabid animal. Ziva screamed as the force of Nicole's body slammed her painfully into the wall.

"Stay away from me! Stay away!"

Ziva's excellent physical condition and swift agility was what saved her from serious harm. As Nicole's fist drew back to slam into her face, the agent ducked under her arm. Her movement didn't stop Nicole's knuckles from making painful contact with her jaw, but it did enable her to get out of the room before Nicole got a hold of the back of her shirt.

Ziva grabbed her phone and called Tony. "I am not sure if she is having some sort of nightmare or not, but I need your help."

Tony met his partner in the living room. His eyes took in the angry red welt that covered most of her right jaw.

"What the -"

"Something is wrong with Nicole. We need to help her."

Tony bolted past his partner to the back of the house, hearing her footsteps behind him. He turned to her. "Call Gibbs!"

Half an hour later the senior agent was on the scene, taking in what had happened. The bruise on Ziva's jaw, the look of terror in Nicole's eyes, and the sweat pouring off of her all gave him a pretty good idea of what was going on.

Thankfully, she had not progressed out of the bedroom. Gibbs guessed the reason behind that good fortune was because in Nicole's mind, she was once again locked in that tiny room in Aguilar's basement.

Gibbs slowed to a halt when he came to the bedroom doorway. Nicole was standing in the same spot where she'd been when she hit Ziva. What the agent was seeing Gibbs didn't know. She was crouched over at the waist, ready to fight. Her knees were flexed and her bare feet were spread a few inches apart. Her arms were held away from her body and bent at the elbows; her hands balled into fists.

Gibbs felt Tony and Ziva pressing against him. Without turning around, he threw his arm straight out and blocked their progress into the room. "Don't go any closer, either of you. Stay right here."

"What's wrong with her, boss?"

"She's having a flashback."

Gibbs took a slow step into the room. To Tony and Ziva he sternly cautioned, "Whatever you do, stay out of this room and stay out of her way."

"Boss -"

Gibbs's eyes remained locked on the young woman. "That's an order, DiNozzo. She doesn't know you right now, she doesn't know me, and she doesn't know what she's doing."

Gibbs didn't wait to hear his team's acknowledgment. They watched from the doorway as Gibbs carefully inched farther into the room.

"Nikki.," he called quietly. "Nikki, it's Gibbs. Everything's okay now. You're in Washington. No one's gonna hurt you."

Nicole's teeth clenched as Gibbs advanced, and her breaths came in hard uneven pants.

The senior agent tried again. "Come on, Nikki. Take a look around. It's me, Gibbs, and Tony and Ziva. We're not going to hurt you."

For just a second Nicole seemed to be doing what he encouraged. It was Gibbs's mistake to misread that brief second of calm and advance again.

Nicole sensed his sudden movement. With a harsh shout and the speed of a rattlesnake she struck. Gibbs couldn't stop the hands that went for his throat and threw him off balance. Fortunately for the older agent, her aim was off. Rather than wrapping her hands around her assailant's neck as she had desired, she ended up with nothing more than a grip on his shoulders. That was enough, however, for Nicole to fling them both to the floor. Gibbs was slammed onto his back with Nicole on top of him. For a few seconds all thoughts of fighting her off were forgotten as he instead fought for breath. The wind had been knocked out of him when he'd made contact with the hard surface beneath him. By the time he regained the oxygen he needed, Nicole was pummeling his upper body with her fists while screaming incoherently.

Ziva rushed into the room. "Gibbs!" She wrapped her arms around Nicole's chest and managed to pull her away from him.

Gibbs grabbed Nicole's fists before she could attack Ziva again. "Ziva, I gave you a direct order, dammit! Now get out of here!"

"Gibbs, I can help..."

"_No_, Ziva, and I mean it! I can't worry about Nikki and you too! Now get out!"

Gibbs hooked his foot behind Nicole's ankle, forcing her off balance and to the floor, using his weight to pin her down. He was still panting with exertion and could feel the sweat rolling down his back and pooling under his arms. Both he and Nicole smelled like they'd come off two hours on the raquetball court.

When Gibbs was finally able to focus on more than keeping control of Nicole's thrashing body, he looked down into the younger agent's wide eyes. He saw with disheartening certainty that she was still lost in a nightmare world filled with nothing but people who cause pain.

He felt a bit hypocritical assuring her that no one was going to hurt her while at the same time sitting on her waist and pinning her arms above her head, but that's what he did. Repeatedly he said whatever words came to mind in an effort to break the terror-filled spell she was under.

Her physical stamina was far greater than what Gibbs could have imagined. For the next half-hour the young woman fought and bucked and kicked and cursed in an effort to free herself. It was fifteen minutes after midnight when she finally ran out of energy; even then the flashback seemed to retain its grip on her. When she could no longer put up a physical struggle, she turned her head to the side. Her blue eyes remained glazed and unfocused.

Tony took a few tentative steps into the room. "Boss?"

Gibbs cautiously released Nicole's arms. When that movement produced no repercussions, he slowly slid off her body, but remained crouched by her side.

"Boss?" Tony said again as he moved closer. "Is she all right?"

The older man shook his head. "I don't know. I've never seen a flashback last this long."

He turned to Ziva. "Go to the kitchen and bring a bowl of cool water and a towel." He looked up at Tony. "Call Ducky."

"Should we call for an ambulance?" Tony asked, pulling out his cell phone.

"I'd like to avoid that, if possible. Let's see what Ducky says."

In a few minutes, Ziva was back with a deep bowl filled with cool water, two towels, and two washcloths. Gibbs and Tony pulled Nicole into a sitting position and gently lifted her back onto the bed. They stepped out of the room so that Ziva could strip off the sweat-soaked nightgown and bathe her. After ten long minutes, she began to make the transition from the world her mind had been trapped in to the safe world in which she now existed.

Ziva offered her a smile. "Are you all right now?"

Slowly Nicole nodded. "Yes, I think so." Her eyes flicked around the room and finally came to rest on the younger agent's face. Ziva had retrieved a t-shirt from a drawer and now helped Nicole put it on. "Gibbs and Tony are outside. Shall I tell them you're ready to see them?"

At Nicole's nod, Ziva stepped out of the room and beckoned the two men to enter. Gibbs smiled as he saw his friend. "You back with us, Nikki?"

She nodded. "May I have some water?"

Tony went into the bathroom and brought back a small plastic cup, which Nicole drank from thirstily. She handed it back to him, then looked at Gibbs. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

She frowned. "I thought I was sleeping. I dreamed... I dreamed I was back in that awful place – in Aguilar's basement. I tried to fight, but... but something was holding me..." She shuddered.

"You were having a flashback. Ziva found you, called Tony in, and then called me. I was holding you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself."

"I didn't..." She turned swiftly and looked up at Ziva, her eyes widening. "Did I do that?"

Ziva gently touched the bruise on her jaw and smiled at her. "You did not mean to."

"Ducky's on his way over. He's going to check you out and make sure you're all right."

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

"How is she, Duck?" Gibbs asked.

The ME glanced up from where he was seated at Nicole's side. "Not surprisingly, Jethro, her blood pressure is still somewhat elevated, but her heart rate, respiration, and pulse are all normal. All I can prescribe for the moment is rest." He turned to her. "Just stay as quiet as possible for the next few hours."

She nodded and smiled wanly. "Thanks, Ducky."

He rose and gathered his coat and medical case. "Call me if there are any more problems."

She nodded again, then Gibbs walked Ducky to the door. As the doctor drove away, Gibbs returned to the bedroom and said, "Nikki, put some clothes on. Tony and Ziva will pack your things."

Nicole raised an eyebrow, but did as she was told. "Where are we going?"

"To my house. The next time you have a flashback, I want to be there from the onset." His ice-blue eyes bored into hers demandingly.

She shook her head. "I swear, Gibbs, this is the first one I've had. And with any luck, there won't be a next time."

His eyes searched her face for a moment longer; she met his gaze without flinching. Gibbs turned away when Tony called to him, and Nicole let out a small relieved sigh.

"McGee," Tony said, holding out his cell phone. "He wants to know if everything's okay."

"Yeah, McGee," Gibbs said. "We're moving Nicole to my house. Go home and get some rest; be back at the office at 0700." He snapped the phone shut and tossed it back to Tony.

"Let's go," he said to Nicole, and they went out to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN: Please R&R, thank you!_**

_**DISCLAIMER: THE ONLY CHARACTERS I OWN ARE NICOLE AND AMANDA CHARLES. ALL OTHERS OWNED BY D.B./BELISARIUS/CBS. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED, I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS, ETC... ONWARD TO THE STORY.**_

**CHAPTER 4**

"God, Jethro, how many damn boats are you going to build, anyway?"

They were in the basement where Gibbs was watching her walk around and around, nursing a glass of bourbon and examining the half-finished craft from all angles.

"Keep it up, pretty soon you'll have your own fleet." She shook her head and looked over her shoulder at him.

Gibbs walked over and took the glass from her, setting it on his worktable and leaning back against it. He folded his arms and stared at her; once again she didn't back down.

"Well?" he asked finally.

"Well what?" she returned.

"You want to tell me what's going on? You haven't had a single flashback before tonight. Why don't I believe that?"

Now she turned away, resting her forehead against the boat. "I didn't even want to come to D.C.," she mumbled. "I knew that if I refused, though, you'd have just thrown me over your shoulder and carried me onto that plane kicking and screaming." She turned and smirked at him.

"Who, me? Nah," he said with a grin. "I leave that to DiNozzo." She laughed.

They both turned at the sound of the front door slamming. "Boss?" Tony called.

A minute later he appeared at the top of the stairs and started down. "McGee sent a team from Surveillance over to remove the equipment and take it back," he reported. "Ziva's upstairs putting Nicole's things in your room. Is there anything else you need?"

Gibbs looked at his watch. "Just for the two of you to go home and get some sleep. Big day today. I need you at the office at 0700."

"Me, too," Nicole said, heading for the stairs. "Look, Jethro," she added before he could speak, "I have an interest in this case. I refuse to sit on my ass in 'protective custody' when I could be _doing_ something." Her flashing eyes dared him to refuse. When he didn't, she went on up the stairs and disappeared.

Tony whistled softly as he watched her go. "Remind me to never stand in her way." He glanced at Gibbs. "See you in a few hours."

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

"McGee!" Gibbs barked as he and Nicole stepped off the elevator. "I need you to run a check on Aguilar and see if there's been any sign of him over the past month."

"On it, boss," the young man said, pecking at his keyboard.

"If that doesn't work, try these," Nicole said, handing him a piece of paper bearing the names Carlos Rivera, Fernando Corazon, and Eduardo Sanchez. "Rivera's the one who contacted me about Aguilar wanting to meet. Corazon is Aguilar's right hand. Sanchez guarded me while I was held in Aguilar's basement, and he was also on the plane when I was flown to San Francisco."

McGee nodded as he ran the searches. Finally he reported, "No trace of Aguilar, Rivera, or Corazon, but an 'E. Sanchez' spent a month on a houseboat berthed at a marina in Alameda."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, then looked at Gibbs. "Mind if I make a call?"

He raised an eyebrow. "To who?"

"To someone who can get us some information," she said, picking up McGee's phone and punching some numbers. "Marty Deeks, please," she said a moment later. "Special Agent Nicole Charles, NCIS San Diego... Hey, Deeks... Yeah, I'm okay. I'm in a safe location... I need some info. Could you check with your sources and see if anyone associated with Ricardo Aguilar owns or has access to a houseboat in Alameda?... ASAP. Thanks... Yeah, I will. Director Vance assigned some of his best to watch over me. I'll talk to you later... You still have my email address, right?... Yeah, thanks. Bye."

She hung up and looked at Gibbs. "A contact on the LAPD," she explained. "He's the one who contacted the OSP after one of his sources told him Aguilar had me."

"You know, I can get that information for you," McGee said pointedly.

Nicole kept her eyes on Gibbs. "I'm hoping you'll be too busy. Jethro, you know my mother moved to Newport News after Daddy died. She still has his computer and some of his old papers. If you don't mind me suggesting..."

Gibbs interrupted, glaring at her. "What I _mind_, Agent Charles, is you trying to take charge of this investigation. In case you've forgotten, I'm the senior agent here, and you are on indefinite leave."

Rather than backing down, she responded in an equally acid tone. "And in case _you've _forgotten, _Agent Gibbs_, we're investigating a top-secret project that not only got me kidnapped and tortured, but oh, yeah, got my father murdered!"

"_Allegedly_ murdered, Nikki –"

"That's bullshit, Gibbs, and you know it! Why else would the Secretary of the frickin' Navy tell NCIS to close the books on the investigation unless they were trying to cover something up? I intend to find out what it is!" Turning on her heel, she stomped toward the elevator, leaving the others staring after her.

"DiNozzo!"

The younger man's head snapped around. "Yeah, boss?"

Gibbs jerked his head in the direction Nicole had disappeared in. "Go with her. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"On it, boss." Tony grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder as he hurried to catch up with Nicole.

"You're sending Tony to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid?" McGee muttered as he typed.

Gibbs turned his glare on him. "You got something to say, McGee?"

McGee's eyes never left his computer. "Uh, no, boss."

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

"Going out for some fresh air, or maybe on a coffee run?" Nicole asked as Tony joined her in the elevator.

"Or something," he replied easily.

She grunted. "Okay, let me put it this way – Daddy Gibbs told you to follow me and tell him everything I do, right?"

"No, he told me not to let you do anything stupid."

She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Great. He doesn't trust me, so he sends big brother to keep an eye on me. What, does he expect me to march into the SECNAV's office and start demanding answers?"

"Were you planning to?"

"Don't think it hasn't occurred to me to try." They reached the first floor and stepped out into the lobby. "Got any suggestions about where to go from here, O Great Senior Field Agent?"

He shrugged. "It's your call. I'm just here to keep you from marching into the SECNAV's office and demanding answers."

"Well, you can relax about that," she said with a laugh. "We're not going anywhere near there. If you can get us a car, I think we should pay my mom a visit. Can I use your phone?"

As he signed out a car and led the way to the parking lot, Nicole called her mother and informed her of their impending arrival.

"She'll have the computer and papers ready when we get there," she said as Tony unlocked the passenger side door and held it for her. She smiled appreciatively and joked, "Are you always such a gentleman, or am I just special?"

"I'm always a gentleman when it comes to beautiful women," he said with a wink.

She laughed. "Your reputation _definitely_ precedes you, DiNozzo," she said.

"I don't know what you mean," he bantered back.

"Oh... not only have I sneaked an occasional peek at your file – I do have both the clearance as a federal agent and a license to snoop as a psychologist – but Gibbs has told me a lot about the people he works with."

He looked at her skeptically. "Gibbs? As in Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"

"As in Leroy Jethro Gibbs. You've worked with him for eight years; you know his silences say as much if not more than most people's words. Even on the phone."

"Yeah? So what has he said about me? Or not said."

She hesitated then said, "It's not up to me to tell you exactly what he's told me, or put in your file, for that matter. Just know that you're one of the best agents he's ever worked with. You're like a son to him. He trusted you enough to leave you in charge when he retired. That should tell you something."

She glanced over to see him staring straight ahead. The look on his face spoke volumes, and she smiled softly. "He gets irritated with your seeming immaturity, but he understands it. Trust me on that. He sees everything, you know. More than most people want him to. He knows your family background; he knows your father wasn't around when you needed him. Gibbs has been more than willing to fill that role. Obviously he can't give you back all the time you lost, but he can be the kind of father to you now that your own father never was."

Tony released a sigh and nodded. "I... I see Gibbs as my father," he admitted. He shook his head. "I never really thought much about why I act the way I do." He looked at her, then back at the road. "I've had people compare me to 'the classic Peter Pan persona'. I guess it's true."

"It takes a lot for a person to engage in that type of self-examination," she said. "They usually have to hit bottom, emotionally speaking, before they're willing to do it. You haven't reached that stage yet, and if you want, I can help you make sure you don't have to. I'm here to listen if you want to talk, I can talk if you want to hear what I have to say. God knows I don't have all the answers, but at least I can be there if you need me."

He glanced over at her again. "You're a very complex woman, Nicole Charles. You're a psychologist, supposed to know how to not let your buttons be pushed, but you really lost it with Gibbs back there."

She grinned sheepishly. "Well, I'm sure you've heard that doctors are the worst patients. I guess psychologists make lousy clients. I know myself so well; I'm a student of the human mind and emotions; but somehow something in me just goes haywire when it comes to a threat to my family or friends."

He grinned. "'Haywire'? Is that a psychological term?"

She responded in kind. "Of course it is. You can look it up."

Two and a half hours later, they were driving through Newport News. Nicole gave directions to her mother's house, and a few minutes later Tony pulled into the driveway of a two-story brick home.

Amanda Charles waited on the porch. Nicole gave her mother a hug and kiss, then said, "Mother, this is Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo from Headquarters. Agent DiNozzo, my mother, Amanda.

"Tony," he said, holding his hand out to the older woman. "It's a pleasure, Mrs. Charles."

"Amanda," she returned with a smile. "Would the two of you have time for a cup of coffee or a bite of lunch?"

Nicole glanced at Tony, who shrugged. "Gibbs knows how to get in touch with me."

Ten minutes later the three were sitting down with glasses of iced sweet tea, sandwiches, and salads. Amanda looked at her daughter. "What's going on, Nikki? First I hear you vanished in Mexico, next they tell me you're in San Francisco and being placed in protective custody, then the next thing I know you're calling from D.C., telling me to pack up Daddy's computer and the contents of his private safe. What are you involved in?"

Tony's eyes flashed a warning to Nicole; she gave him a "what-do-you-take-me-for" look in response, then turned to Amanda. "I'm not at liberty to tell you much, Mother, but it's important that I get the computer and papers back to Headquarters."

Amanda looked at her closely. "Would this have anything to do with the possibility that your father didn't die in an explosion?"

Nicole didn't blink. "There are some questions about that."

"What about the mere fact of his death?"

Nicole choked on her tea. "What?"

Amanda bit her lip and looked away for a moment, considering, then looked across the table and took Nicole's hand. "I wasn't going to say anything, mainly because -" she smiled slightly – "I didn't want my psychologist daughter thinking I'd gone off the deep end."

Nicole smiled back and squeezed the older woman's hand. "You're the last person I'd accuse of that. Now what's on your mind?"

"Well, as you know, for the first year after... after we heard about your father, I kept thinking I saw him. You know I met with one of the psychiatrists at Bethesda for awhile, and she said it's normal for that sort of thing to occur."

Nicole nodded. "I saw a counselor at school and she said the same thing."

"Ater that first year, I stopped thinking I saw him, so I figured I must be getting over my grief a little. Then about eight or nine months ago..." She trailed off.

Nicole looked at Tony sharply, then turned back to her mother. "Mother, are you saying you think you saw Daddy less than a year ago?" Amanda nodded, fighting back tears.

The two agents exchanged looks, then Nicole said, "Mother, could you excuse Tony and me for a minute?" Without waiting for a response, she rose and practically dragged Tony into the living room.

"What do you make of that?" she asked quietly. "My mother is one of the most mentally stable people I know. If she says she's seen my father recently..."

Tony shook his head. "Think, Nicole. Even if your father is still alive, even if for some reason his death was faked, he was working on a top-secret government project. Do you think they're just gonna let him go out in public? I mean, think about it – they would have given him a new identity, possibly relocated him -"

She raised her hands. "Yes, I know. You're right." She gave him a challenging look. "So, who did she see?"

"Obviously someone who looks like him." He walked to the fireplace and took a picture from the mantel. In it was a much younger Nicole, dressed in a cap and gown and holding her high school diploma, surrounded by her parents and younger sister. Tony examined the dark-haired, broad-shouldered man who appeared to be in his early forties. He glanced at Nicole and wordlessly handed her the picture. She smiled a bit as she ran a finger lightly over the man's features.

"He was deployed a few weeks after I started college," she said softly, "and came home a couple of weeks before I started summer vacation. I remember going to my dorm after class one afternoon and there he was." She looked up. "They were married for twenty-three years, you know. No matter how much he's changed, she'd know him."

Silently Tony took the picture from her and set it carefully back on the mantel. They both turned as the kitchen door swung open and Amanda stepped through.

"Is everything all right?"

Nicole went over and gave her a hug. "Everything's fine, Mother." She looked at her watch. "We do need to be heading back, though." She hesitated, then said, "And I think you should come with us. For one thing, I don't think you should be here by yourself, and for another, we need to tell Agent Gibbs and Director Vance what you told us."

The three walked to the door and Amanda pointed to the large box containing Lawrence Charles's computer and papers. As Tony carried it out to the car, she gave her daughter an appraising look. "What do you mean, it's not safe for me to stay here alone? Why wouldn't it be?"

Nicole shook her head. "I can't get into it, but just trust me. You'll be safer in Washington than here."

Amanda nodded and went upstairs to get her purse, then said, "I'll take my car, if it's all right." Nicole nodded, then the two women went outside. Tony waited until Amanda backed out of the garage before starting his car and pulling out of the driveway. He waited until they reached the end of the block before speaking. "What are we going to tell Gibbs when we get back?"

"_I'm_ going to tell him the truth – that we came up to get my dad's computer and some of his old papers that I though might be relevant." She gave him a wry grin. "And if it'll keep you out of trouble with the boss and the bigger boss, I'll even say that I took you hostage with your own gun and forced you to bring me." Tony snorted at the comment.

"Are you going to let your mother tell him you think your father is still alive?"

She grinned at him. "Would now be a good time to march into the SECNAV's office and start demanding answers?"

He chuckled. "I'm thinking no. I'd tell Gibbs and maybe the director."

"Good plan. Let them decide how to handle things."

_**AN: If any of y'all can help me with subsequent chapters (betaing and perhaps with story ideas), please PM me. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_

_**~ EJ**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Dear Santa: May I please have NCIS for Christmas? Or at least Michael Weatherly? No? Oh, well, can't blame a girl for asking...

**A/N 2:** Still looking for a beta/collaborator. If interested, please PM me. I'm working on Chapter 6 at the moment, and again I'm sort of stuck. This fanfic writing thing is hard for me! (At least coming up with story ideas is.) Please R&R and let me know if you can help me with the rest of the story!

**CHAPTER 5**

"Hey, Abs!" Tony greeted the forensic scientist as he and Nicole entered the lab. "This is Nicole Charles from San Diego. Nicole, this is Abby Sciuto, forensic scientist extraordinaire."

Nicole smiled as she shook hands with the pretty goth. "I'm well aware of Abby's expertise in this area."

Abby stepped forward and gave the older agent a hug. "I'm so glad you're safe... Nicole?" At her nod, she continued. "I've heard a little bit about what's going on. What do you need me to do?'

They turned as an evidence tech came in with the box that Tony and Nicole had brought back with them. McGee was right behind him, directing him to set it on the table.

"This is my father's personal computer and some of his private papers," Nicole explained. "I'm not sure what we'll find, if anything – I'm sure that anything related to Atlantis has been deleted and that any hard copies he may have had are long gone as well – but it wouldn't hurt to make sure."

"Of course not," Abby said encouragingly. "We'll get right on it."

"Here's a list of his passwords," Nicole said, "and what looks like an encryption key. I hope it helps. If there's anything else I can do, let me know."

"Thanks," Abby said, as she and McGee turned their attention to the box.

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

Gibbs was waiting when Nicole and Tony came upstairs. "Nikki, with me," he ordered. Nicole gave Tony a knowing look as she followed the senior agent across the squadroom to the main elevator. As soon as the doors closed, he flipped the power switch and spun to face her.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he demanded. "Do you not understand what 'leave of absence' and 'protective custody' mean?"

"Look, Jethro, I told you..."

"Maybe I didn't make it clear that you're to work on this case behind the scenes. _No one_ is to know where you are – not your mother, not your sister, not anyone! Have you told anyone else that you're here?"

Nicole glared at him. "Yes, Gibbs, I'm an idiot." She sighed loudly. "How could I? It's not like you or DiNozzo have left me alone long enough."

She hesitated. "Listen, speaking of DiNozzo..."

"Yeah, DiNozzo's already been ripped a new one," Gibbs interrupted. "Now you two are going back to my house and _staying_ there. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," she replied. When Gibbs stared at her, she nodded. He flipped the power switch again and the doors opened. Tony stood there looking from Gibbs to Nicole and back again. As Gibbs stepped off the elevator, Nicole stopped him. "Gibbs, are you going to be questioning my mother? May I be there?"

Before she'd even asked the question, he shook his head. "I can't let you do that, Nikki..."

She looked at him pleadingly, and finally he sighed. "You can watch from Observation." He turned to Tony, who nodded affirmitively to the unspoken order.

The three agents walked down the hall. Tony held the door to the observation room open as Gibbs entered Interrogation. Ziva was already in the room, and the three younger agents stood at the window as Gibbs sat down across the table from Amanda.

The woman smiled at him. "Jethro, the first thing I want to say is thank you for helping bring my daughter back to me."

Gibbs smiled back. "You can thank the FBI and our Office of Special Projects in L.A. All I did was bring her back from San Francisco." He grew serious. "Agent DiNozzo says you told him and Nikki that you think you've seen your husband recently?"

She drew in a deep breath. "I'm sure of it. He looked exactly like Larry would look if he was fifteen years older." She looked at Gibbs. "In my mind, I _know_ it can't be him. But in here -" she touched her heart "- I believe it is. What can we do?"

Gibbs looked at her sympathetically. "Look, Amanda, I know what it's like to want a loved one to be alive. I know what it's like to..."

She interrupted. "I know, Jethro. I remember how you and I talked back then. You let me and my girls into your world after you lost Shannon and Kelly. You became almost a second father to them after we lost Larry, do you know that? That's why Nikki's kept in touch with you all these years."

Gibbs nodded. "I understand that, and while it never made me comfortable that they saw me that way, I accepted it. I'll do anything to help you and your daughters. The first thing we need to do is have Larry's casket exhumed to make sure he's actually in it. I'll see to it. Meanwhile, I'll have an agent take you to a hotel for the night, and then tomorrow we'll continue talking."

Amanda nodded. "Sounds fine to me. Where will Nikki be?"

He hesitated. "She'll be safe. I'm not at liberty to say where she'll be staying."

She nodded again and smile a little. "Believe me, Jethro, I understand." She rose from her chair. "Thank you."

Gibbs turned to the window. "Agent David, please make arrangements for Mrs. Charles for the night."

She stepped over to the intercom. "Yes, Gibbs." She, Tony and Nicole walked out of the room as Gibbs and Amanda stepped out of Interrogation. Mother and daughter exchanged hugs, then Amanda walked away with Ziva. Before they made it more than a few steps down the hallway, McGee ran up to them, out of breath. "Boss, Director Vance sent me to get you. He just received a phone call from Agent Charles's sister, Samantha. She's on her way up here from Miami."

Gibbs turned to Nicole. Before he could get a word out, she held up her hands. "I swear, Gibbs, I did not contact her. I don't know how she found out I was here."

"Actually, from what she told the director, she doesn't know you're here," McGee told her. "She just knows that you were found."

Gibbs nodded. "All right, here's what we'll do. Ziva, go ahead and take Mrs. Charles to a hotel. McGee, have Agent Harrison meet Samantha at the airport. Tony, take Nikki to my house and stay there. I'm going to give the director a report and I'll be along shortly." The three agents nodded and all went to attend to their assignments.

_NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS~NCIS_

Tony watched as Nicole roamed through the house like a caged animal. Finally he said, "Why don't you sit down? You're going to wear a trench in Gibbs's floor."

She didn't even glance at him. He sighed and continued to watch her until the front door opened and closed. Gibbs came into the living room, accompanied by a man who Nicole and Tony both recognized.

"I told you I'd do my best to get him here," Gibbs said, indicating Mike.

Nicole grinned, stepping forward to shake the retired agent's hand. "Hello, Mike! Good to see you. Did you bring the file?"

'Probie told me to bring it, so I brought it," Franks told her. "Though I gotta tell you, it ain't much. He says you already know the SecNav himself took us off the case."

Nicole nodded. "And knowing you, you hollered about it."

"I did, but it didn't do any good. I hated letting it go cold, for you, your sister's, and your mother''s sake."

Nicole smiled a bit. "I know, Mike, and so do Sami and our mom. We never understood why you were taken off the case, but we never blamed you either."

She sat down on the sofa, and the three men joined her. Franks reached into his bag, pulled out a manila file and spread the contents out on the coffee table. For the next few hours, they went over the crime scene photos, witness statements, and notes about evidence that Franks had made.

Finally Gibbs looked up. "Seems pretty straightforward to me," he told Nicole. "Just like I remember – your father was testing something, it exploded and killed him. Nothing really suspicious about it. Just an accident."

Nicole sat back and bit her lip, looking discouraged. Gibbs felt sorry for her. "Look, Nikki, like I told your mother, I know what it's like to want someone to be alive. Mike here can tell you all about the nights after Shannon and Kelly were killed when I sat in my house and drank myself unconscious. I was suicidal, I didn't want to go on without them. The only thing keeping me going at that point was the thought of putting a bullet through the head of the bastard responsible. And you know how that turned out."

She nodded, smiling. "I sure do. The bad thing is, there's no one I can do that to – which is actually a very good thing, now that I think about it. So all I can do is find out exactly what happened the day my dad died."

Franks nodded. "You know this has to be unofficial..."

"Of course."

"I'm just saying, I have no official connection to NCIS." He gave her a look. "Understand?"

Nicole smiled. "I understand perfectly. And thank you. And if there's anything I can do – since I'm _officially _on leave..."

Gibbs's phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the display before flipping it open. "Yeah, McGee."

"Boss, I just heard back from Agent Charles's contact in the LAPD. He says that a 'business associate' of Aguilar's owns a yacht that he keeps at Grand Marina in Alameda. His name is Chuck Wilkins." He gave Gibbs Wilkins's contact information. "I've already forwarded it to the Alameda County Sherriff. They're going to do some recon on the marina and see if they can find him."

"Fine, McGee. Keep me informed." He shut the phone and looked at Nicole. "Let's go downstairs."

She followed him to the basement, where they seated themselves underneath the boat. "Part of what the director wanted to talk to me about was the fact that you need to see a therapist to talk about what happened. We've made an appointment with Dr. Cranston for you tomorrow." He held up his hand before she could protest. "You know the rules, Nikki. When an agent's been through the kind of trauna you have, a psych eval is mandatory. I haven't forgotten that you've had at least one flashback, and unless I miss my guess, more. You have got to talk to someone. I've also spoken to Ziva; you know what happened to her in Somalia. I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to her about your experience in Mexico."

Nicole pressed her lips tightly together. "Jethro, I told you that I can't discuss what happened. Yes, I realize the chances of Aguilar finding out what I'm telling you are practically non-existent, but I can't take that risk. I don't just have my team to worry about now. You and yours are involved, not to mention Mother and now Samantha. It wouldn't surprise me if Aguilar had eyes and ears even inside the Navy Yard."

Gibbs stared at her. "Paranoia, or do you actually know something that the rest of the agency doesn't?"

She shook her head. "I don't know anything. I'm just saying that I suspect he has a very long reach. After all, he knew exactly who I was when I was undercover. Someone must have tipped him off."

Gibbs nodded. "We'll be investigating that. But meanwhile, you'll be meeting with Dr. Cranston twice a week, and also talking to Ziva. She needs someone to talk to who's experienced the same sort of thing she has – even though she's been cleared for duty, she hasn't fully recovered herself. It'll be good for both of you to have someone to talk to."

Nicole chuckled and shook her head. "This from the man who has to be browbeaten into discussing anything personal."

"We do what we have to do, and you have to do this. No agent would trust another who's prone to flashbacks to have their six. I know for a fact that Ziva still has them, and she's been seeing her own therapist since returning to work. I'm going to suggest to Agent Tarkington that he have you continue seeing someone after you go back to San Diego."

"Which won't be until I've found out what really happened to my dad, and Aguilar's been caught. I won't have my friends and family put in danger because of me."

Absolutely." They turned as Mike Franks poked his head through the doorway and cleared his throat.

"DiNozzo's takin' me to a hotel for the night, Probie. We can decide where to go from here tomorrow, right?"

Gibbs nodded. "I need to make some calls, and Nikki needs to get some rest. We'll meet at headquarters at 0800 tomorrow."


End file.
